So I splurged and bought a new computer yesterday. I haven't hooked it up yet. I'm still going through this lemon of a computer deciding what I need to back up and save and what I can trash. I was going through the pictures in my Outlook and stumbled across this email from Jenny. She sent it to me on January 27, 2003. Yes, 2003. I'm a pack rat even with technology! Anyways, I just couldn't bring myself to delete it because it makes me laugh every time I read it. Here it is for your enjoyment:
1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out."
2. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
6. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
7. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
8. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
9. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
10. What do you call male ballerinas?
11. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
12. Why are Trix only for kids?
13. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
14. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
15. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
16. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
17. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
18. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
19. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
20. Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
21. Why do the "Alphabet" song and "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" have the same tune?
22. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
23. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
And...just an afterthought...when you read #21, why did you run through both songs real quick to make sure?
