Why does Dan think I like lists?

Top Ten Reasons I Love Going to the Gym:

10. Walking into the locker room and being overcome by CK1 fumes. Nothing rejuvenates like burning olfactory passages and watery eyes.
9. Seeing a woman who is apparently a big fan of the tanning bed. She brought back fond memories of a favorite brown leather purse.
8. Pirate pants. The brighter and bolder the print, the more masculine you become.
7. Leotards on men. After all, who can be bothered with the weight of actual clothing when lifting the equivalent of a Yugo?
6. Watching Ladder 49 in the Cardio Cinema. Because John Travolta in sappy dramas inspires me more than Vin Diesel's biceps ever could.
5. Listening to Gold's broadcasting channel which features advertisements for the gym I'm already in.
4.They teach frugality. You're going there to sweat. Why should they turn on the air conditioning? Practice this tip at home and save loads on your electric bill.
3. Mirrors. Everywhere. To remind you maybe you're not making the progress you thought you were.
2. Grunting. I feel that my pivoting skills have increased exponentially simply by walking through the free weights area and being startled by what sounds like someone being blugeoned.

And the number one reason?
1. Finding boyfriends for Amanda...Today's jewel apparently used every bottle of peroxide ever made to bleach out his hair. What really transfixed me, though, were the ponytail and his wife-beater tucked into shorts that were probably made to fit my 5-year-old nephew. Grr.