BHH

I am home this weekend for Memorial Day. Last night, my parents' friends cooked out and had us over for dinner. My parents' friends are HILARIOUS so naturally I jumped at the chance to go spend an evening with them. We went over, fixed our plates and then segregated--boys in the dining room, girls in the den. We had a much better time than the men thanks in large part to stories Martha told of her husband's family.
It all started earlier in the day when I said I was going to wear my elastic pants to Jane's since she makes huge quantities of food. Dad asked why I would wear plastic pants and it all went downhill from there. Mom told us about Denton's Aunt Clendell who, not wanting to deal with her husband's incontinence, would cinch a Hefty sack around his waist and put him on the couch. Seriously. This conversation came up at dinner and Martha was able to add valuable details. Such as, no, Aunt Clendell didn't cut leg holes for him as that would have defeated the purpose (apparently, Depends had not yet been invented). Anne asked if he moved around like in a potato sack race. We weren't sure he did all that much moving. Many more ribald jokes were made and the conversation ended with this:
LInda: Is he still with us?
Martha: No.
Chorus of 5 Southern Women: (sigh) Bless His Heart.

Awesome. Did it end there, you ask? No. This is the same side of the family that, refusing to put Mama Kay in the nursing home, would load her up (hospital bed and all) in a flat bed truck and move her from basement to basement so that the siblings could take care of her. And, yes, one of those siblings was Aunt Clendell. Bless Her Heart.