It was a banner day...

My friends all know that there are two things in life that completely creep me out. Feet and midgets. No, I don't know where either of these "irrational fears" (thanks, Chadd) come from, but they're there nonetheless...So yesterday, I faced them both. And the fact that I'm still alive and able to write AND laugh about it gives me hope.
It started yesterday when my friend, Jenny, wanted to go get pedicures. Now, I've had pedicures before, but I can generally never go at the spur of the moment. I have to have time to prepare. Even then, I squirm in my chair and make faces. Amanda loves going with me. But I had my pedicure (given by a man, no less) and was okay. At about 5.30, we went and met up with a bunch of friends for sushi. Yumsters. Then it was off to Mercy Lounge to see Denny Diamond. Yes, he covers that other Diamond...Anyways, the first opening act was called Panty Raid. They were a burlesque group who apparently met at the tattoo parlor. The anouncer fellow kept saying they were the best burlesque group in Nashville. My gosh, I'd hate to see the worst. I thought these things were supposed to be teasey and sexy, like in Moulin Rouge. These girls had the moves of a water buffalo. You just wanted it to be over. And I'm not just saying that from a woman's standpoint. Men were laughing and mocking as well. It was awful. How could the evening get worse? Oh, easy! Bring on the little people. Next in line was miniKISS. I kid you not. 2 men and 2 women dressed full out like Gene Simmons and company. They jumped around and cussed like sailors. They also sang about as well as dying cats. The clincher was when the "drummer" came up to sing "Beth." I love this song. But when the slaughter began I wanted to cry. Dan, the lady from the marathon sounded like Celine Dion compared to these people!! When the train wreck was finally over, we were standing around waiting for Denny to come out. Al comes running up and says the lil'folk are walking around in the audience and wants to go find them. So, I did. We found mini Gene and got our picture with him. He even had his hand on my back. After the picture, he hands me a business card and says in his mini voice, "Email me the picture. I need it for our website!" Right. That'll happen. And here's what the business card says: "we specialize in mini-talents including mini kiss, mini jay leno, mini elvis & priscilla, mini me & mini you. We have bartenders & male/female strippers for you next party. Whatever your needs, we're her to please." AAUUGGHH!! I now need to go wash my hands in bleach. We make our way back up in front of the stage for Denny. He comes out in his leather and lavender sequined glory. Sounds just like Neil. Scary. But in a good way. Mini Gene, having now been out of the spotlight for 10 minutes gets back up on stage. He had had a beer, so I'm fairly certain he was wasted. Anyways, he won't go away. He just keeps standing there. I think Neil, er, Denny, was smiling uncomfortably to cover up the fact that he wanted mini Gene off his stage. Finally, mini Gene was going to go over and dance by the keyboard player who gave him the mean eye. He exited stage right immediately. We left shortly thereafter due to the fact that it was about 8,000 degrees on the pavement. My nerves were shot. But I do have photographic evidence of my misery, so I'll get back on later and publish some photos. I know you're already looking forward to mini Gene and me.