AUGH!

I hate emissions testing. I think I'm going to start cheating like certain other people whose names start with an A and end with manda and let my daddy get my renewals. Except my daddy lives in Alabama so I guess that won't really work. Maybe the Vicks will adopt me. Anyhoo, the morning started out on the wrong foot. Note to anyone who calls me friend: If you call me before 9 am on a Saturday I will hit you in the face. I'm not kidding. Wear a mask, Ange! So once I was begrundingly awake, I drove over to the emissions testing center on Antioch Pike. That's not entirely true. I drove around on Antioch Pike until I FOUND the emissions testing center. For future reference, it's across from Tofu House BBQ & Restaurant. ew. I sat idling, listening to tunes, when a chicken starts pecking its way across the parking lot. A real, live, enormous, white chicken. Neat. It's finally my turn, and the chick (girl, not poultry) starts going through the motions of checking my car. She couldn't connect the OBD (not to be confused with ODB, yo) and said I had to take my car to the shop to get it fixed before she could test it. So I scootch on over to Brentwood to Land Rover where I'm told had she just held it, it would have connected. They fix it. And my windshield wiper blades. And apparently something had been recalled so they fixed that too. This is where the only bright spot of my day thus far occurred: I met Amanda for hummus and pedicures (not together, and not necessarily in that order). Then I went back to the testing center. Fella says, "Didn't they tell you that you had to drive around for about 100 miles before it could be tested?" No. So still it couldn't be tested. Smart ass then says next time I bring it in to be tested it's free. No kidding. I just gave you $10, buck-o, I don't call that free. Please, God, let Tuesday be better!